I love my house in Logan, particularly my bedroom. There is a window and a door that look out to the Logan River. I love to kneel in meditation and prayer looking out at the moving water.
It’s early morning and I’m not moving as quickly as I typically do. As I looked across the water to the river’s edge, I thought to myself, “that water is moving so fast”. Everything around me seems fast right now, as I move in what feels like slow motion. I’m trying to decide what to put back into my life. I know it has to be meaningful and inspired. I know I need time to be still. I desperately do not want to over-fill my days with clutter and chaos that will keep me from doing those things that are most important.
The water in the river reminds me that life is still moving and it’s not going to wait for me. In my minds eye I see people lining the rivers edge … some sitting, perfectly content to let life pass them by. I see some pre-occupied with busyness, not realizing life is moving around them. But mostly, I see people standing, staring at the water…. Afraid to jump in, scared they will drown, fearful of the unknown of where the river will take them. I see some in the river laughing and riding the waves, having a great time, while others are struggling as they move forward, just barely able to keep their head out of the water, but moving forward nonetheless. I see some in the river calling to those on the banks, “jump in, the waters great”. I see some on the banks with heavy hearts and heads hung low with no one cheering them on and no one willing to swim with them… and it makes me sad. Perhaps there are some in the river who have acquired rafts and their primary focus is to help those on the river banks move forward and so like rescue boats, they seek out those who look like they need a hand and invite them to climb aboard.
I’m ready to jump. I had to spend some time on the rivers edge to care for and love my son as he transitioned from his mission here to his mission on the other side of the veil. I also see in this afore mentioned scene, angels, spirits…. Lots of them. Some cheering, loving and assisting, and some trying to discourage and destroy those we can see.
As I jump back into the moving water, my greatest fear is that I’ll become so busy or distracted with no time to “be still”, that I’ll lose my connection with my angel son, Riley, the one I cannot see with my eyes, but that I can feel when I stay out of my head and present in my body. I never want to lose that connection and even more important than my connection with him, I never want to lose my connection with his companion, the Savior, Jesus Christ. I need to feel Him. I need his unconditional love to heal my wounded soul and direct me to the path where I can be my best self.
On Monday I am starting my “Self Love Workshops” back up. The yoga studio in my home will once again be coming to life. I am not perfectly healed, but the studio is a place of healing. It is a safe place where we dispel fear and replace it with love. It is a place where we learn to “be still and feel”, through meditation, yoga and group discussions. We study the Chakras and my favorite, the Yamas and Niyamas. The most common things I hear when people are thinking about joining me is, “I’m out of shape, I’m not flexible, I can’t do yoga.” I smile and give them a little chuckle…. That’s like telling me they cant go to church because they aren’t perfect yet, or they can’t go to the gym because they aren’t fit yet.
I see these workshops as life rafts. They are a safe place where people can come together as we move forward on our journey’s inward, as we get to know who we truly are and learn to feel truth in our bodies, as we learn to feel guided and directed by our higher power and learn to trust ourselves.
Come float the river with me. Come ride the waves.
If you feel you’ve been standing on the rivers edge, not sure how or where you’re going…. Come ride with me… we will learn together.