Merry Christmas my dear friend,
Christmas has a very new meaning for me this year. As you may know, one of my beloved children has been fighting cancer for almost four years now. This is not a path I ever saw my family having to walk. It is not a path I would choose for myself, for those I love, or even for my worst enemy. However, one of the most important lessons I have learned from this experience is to Embrace Adversity. This is a difficult concept to understand until you are placed in a position where it is the only option. With everything we encounter in life we really only have control over one thing, what we choose to do with it. We can be bitter and angry and ask why, OR, we can change the questions and find answers that ultimately will change us in a way that is indescribable. At some point I changed the questions from “Why us? And Why my son?” to “What is there to learn from this? How can I use this to grow?” And the question that resonates at my very core, “How can I share with others these very valuable and sacred lessons I’m learning? How can I help others feel of the intense and penetrating love that Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ, have for me and for all of us?”
My life is very different than it was five years ago. I would tell you that I do not feel like the Jackie I have created in my mind for 40 years. I believe that each of us was born knowing who we are and slowly, this world shows us false images of whom we should be. We begin to tell ourselves lies about who we are, and before you know it, we are completely lost, doing things that do not matter, and living a life that is so far from meaningful that we feel empty inside. As I walk through this refiners fire I am watching many labels fall from me. I am watching false ideas of what I thought to be important, fade away. I have been guided by a loving, Father in Heaven, to the people and the knowledge I need to help me find Jackie. When I began to spend time with Jackie (the Jackie I was born to be) it was very frightening, she seemed like a stranger. As I have learned to trust, soften, and to feel truth in my body, I have come to know a woman who I have much respect for. She is beautiful, kind, compassionate and strong. Currently, her heart is broken, shattered in fact, into a million pieces, but she has the constant companionship of the Savior and this is her most prized possession, the one she desperately feels driven to share with the world. Along with the comfort the Savior offers, she has been given a gift… a gift which she feels strongly she is supposed to share with those around her, a gift to be able to feel, hear, listen, and the ability to articulate her feelings and the inspiration given her, through writing. And so, this Christmas, rather than spending money on gifts, cards, and items that will ultimately go in the trash, I want to invite you to walk this journey with me and learn what I’m learning, to Embrace Adversity through our trials.
I have created this blog to save a collection of my pearls of wisdom and pure knowledge, gifts given to me from Father in Heaven.
In accepting my gift to you, my hope is that you will find the spirit of Christ not just at Christmas time, but all year long. My wish is that by sharing what I am learning, I will be able to offer hope and light to others who may be struggling, or who just need a reminder of who they really are.
Merry Christmas, my friend, I pray that God’s choicest blessings will be yours this Holiday Season and throughout the coming year.