Tell me, what advise do you give your child when their time on earth may or may not be shortened by cancer?

And please tell me this… how do you feel like a normal human being when your biggest concern used to be what to buy others for Christmas, what to wear to a Christmas party, or the fact that you’d gained five pounds, but now your reality is what kind of advise to give your child who is facing cancer, and all it entails, head on.

Do you have any idea how much of life is completely un-important? Do you know how silly it sounds when I hear someone completely lose it because they are having car trouble, are angry at their spouse for saying something rude, or are telling me they are fat sounds to me? (This sounds so impatient and non-compassionate … which is not me… but I’m in a fairly shitty mood)

Do you comprehend at all the trivial nature of weight gain, depression or acne? (I’m speaking to myself here)

Do you have ANY IDEA what I would give to go back to my old “problems”?

Let me just share what I’ve learned. We control NOTHING. We own NOTHING. The best shot you have at happiness is LIVING IN THE MOMENT. The past is only good for lessons learned… to use it for purposes of guilt or shame is a total waste of time and a tool of the devil. To worry about the future is a complete waste of energy because NONE OF US KNOW WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS. None of us know how long we will dwell here. We could all give up and focus on the obvious…. we are all going to die one day.

As I have evaluated the conversations I’ve had with my son I have considered what might be helpful in the least amount of words possible.

And here they are….

NONE OF US ARE GUARANTEED A CERTAIN NUMBER OF DAYS ON EARTH… and if that’s true, which I know it is, what do you want to do with those days? Who do you want to be remembered as? And what would you like to be said at your funeral?

It’s not easy and it’s not fun, but it’s truth. Have you ever considered what truth feels like in your body ? I know what truth feels like. It feels like that place where you are vulnerable and open. It feels like emotions that come and cannot be hidden. It feels like that place where tears come without warning and it is difficult to hold back the tears.

I’m sure in that place where the possibility of a shortened mission on earth feels like a very possible outcome, you may want to prepare by starting today to disconnect from those you love in an attempt to protect them or even you, but tell me, if you were going to lose those you love, would you want more or less of their time? More or less knowledge of their feelings and emotions? More or less experience of who they are, what they stand for and believe in and more or less of what this life has taught them? I would say MORE!!! Please give me more!!! Please tell me anything and everything that will leave me knowing as much as I can possibly know about you.

And as for normal, there is a new normal. A deeper and more genuine normal. A normal that helps to bring you into closer alignment with God and with things that truly matter. Perhaps it helps us locate our true identity, our authentic selves, and as for what advise to give your kids… perhaps that would be, regardless of how much time you have here on this earth, live each day as though it were your last. Make sure everyone you know and love knows that you know and love them. Live with no regrets.

What I’ve come to realize is that either everything is a miracle, or nothing is. There are no coincidences. If we learn to live in this moment, we are able to stay with ourselves through pretty much anything. If we allow ourselves to feel our emotions we can learn and grow from them and feel the empowerment that comes from BEing where we are. If we can use the tools we’ve been given, such as simply breathing, to keep our minds off the hamster wheel, we can stay in each moment, live life to its fullest and be aligned with our higher power.

Expectations are just a source of pain and lead us to a place of sadness and hurt. If we live in the NOW, we expect nothing in the future. We stay fully connected to God and are able to align our will with His. We must trust that God is in charge, that our children are His children, and that he loves them even more than we do. We have to have faith that the path we and our loved ones are on is the path that God intended for us to teach us all we needed to know and learn here on this earth.

I love my children with ALL OF MY HEART, but I’ve come to know that I do not know what is best for them. God has a plan for them and if I will refrain from meddling in his business things will work out exactly the way they are supposed to.